A Brief List of Stuff I Learned From My Mom

My mom has taught me a lot of wonderful and important things about how to live a good life as a good person, how to love people and how to be loved. These are not really those things.

  1. The Rolling Stones > The Beatles
  2. Real hot chocolate contains milk.
  3. So, for that matter, does real mac & cheese.
  4. A little lipstick goes a long way.
  5. It is possible to scold a small child and laugh at them at the same time.
  6. The car doesn’t move until your seatbelt is on.
  7. Dropped, smushed, or otherwise unpretty cakes taste better, anyway.
  8. A 20 minute drive can be done in 7 minutes, if you believe.
  9. Today’s leftovers are tomorrow’s stir fry.
  10. If you make ham, they will come.
  11. Movies (and movie popcorn) are better after midnight.
  12. So is Christmas mass.
  13. Paying full price is never an option.
  14. Paying to have your jewelry cleaned is silly. Windex it.
  15. Crayola markers are water soluble.
  16. You still shouldn’t use them on your face.
  17. Butter makes everything better.
  18. If When your Christmas tree is still up in March, put Easter eggs on it.
  19. When you read a kid a book, you must do the characters’ voices.
  20. Open your own beers at parties.
  21. All coffee is acceptable coffee.
  22. Your mom knows when you’re lying.
  23. Showing up in the sixth inning is good luck.
  24. But listen to the first five innings on the radio en route.
  25. Ice cream is a food group.
  26. Frozen peas should be eaten frozen.
  27. Boys who don’t clear their plate shouldn’t be invited back to dinner.
  28. All parties are open houses if you play an instrument.
  29. Everything can go in the dishwasher.
  30. Everything can go in the washing machine.
  31. Everything can go in the dryer.
  32. Ruined pans, dresses and sweaters are collateral damage. Move on.
  33. A junk drawer (or two) is fine as long as it still closes.
  34. There are more important things in life than vacuuming.
  35. But also, you have to use a real mop sometimes. A Swiffer is not enough.
  36. If you feel like something isn’t right, it isn’t right. Trust your gut. Call your mom.
  37. Say, “I love you.” Easily, loudly, and often. 

Me and my sister (who helped out with this list) are still learning from you all the time. Love you, mom. Happy birthday.